Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Sample Paper Grades

Sample Paper 1- B

  • Weakness
    • Doesn't always define specific research used 
    • No Subtopics
  • Strengths
    • Very detailed
    • Correct References 

Sample Paper 2- D

  • Weakness
    • No hook for the reader in the introduction 
    • No topics or subtopics just one big paper 
  • Strengths
    • Clearly states what the topic is 
    • Introduces sources in the introduction 

Sample Paper 3- C

  • Weakness 
    • No introduction of sources and the main points of the paper in the introduction 
    • No subtopics 
  • Strengths
    • Detailed 
    • Uses research they found from sources 

Sample Paper 4- C-

  • Weakness
    • Just a big paragraph 
    • No flow to the paper 
  • Strengths 
    • States clear topic 
    • Hook in the beginning 

Sample Paper 5- A
Sample Paper 6- A

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Outline


Open up with the interest in the topic. I felt connected to the topic because I know I am always trying to achieve perfection in my body which seems like an almost impossible task. Perfect is never actually defined but it is in what the media wants us to think is perfection based on the models they use to promote their products. How the influence of others and media made me feel insecure in myself as never having been skinny. I have lost 35 pounds and I still don’t think it is enough… INTRODUCE THE SOURCES BEFORE

Changes in Body Image
·      Explain that the changes in body image happen both over time and moving from place to place
o   Image change of women over time
§  The change in women happens overtime and you can see the change through the ads
§  The average woman model and considered beautiful is a size 00 when back in the day when Marilyn Monroe was considered perfect, she was a size 8
§  The size changes based on what people show in the media whether it be a girl who is a size 16 or a size 00
o   Women in the U.S. and in other parts of the west are always stick thin. There are many other parts of the world that models are not always 5’10 and 110 pounds. In India the average model is 5’5. It all depends on where you are
Reasons for dissatisfaction
·      One reason for body image issues are family and peer influences
o   Family
§  Families spend a lot of time telling kids what they should and shouldn’t eat and they notice their weight gain and get concerned about it as they are growing when they should not be. Parents a lot of times, especially fathers with daughters, are concerned and very upfront with their weight telling them they need to make changes causing issues in their self-esteem.
o   The big one for college kids are peers. People see their peers and get ideas from them on what is beautiful and what is not. They are being told that this is what you should look like and are getting that from them.
o   They also compare themselves to their friends. The ones that are skinny and getting boyfriends and told they are pretty are who people then try to become because they feel they aren’t good enough with the weight they are at.
o   Also, peers can say things and bully people into thinking they are fat. They tell people they are big, and they need to lose weight to look a certain way just because they don’t fit the mold that society tells you that everyone should look like.
·      Media plays the largest role in body image issues
o   Social media plays a role in how people look at themselves vs others. They see pictures of certain girls online and how pretty and skinny they are and the amount of likes that they are getting, and they begin to feel self-conscious. In social media people use it to feel better about themselves
§  “results confirmed that certain women engage in affirmation on processes after a media-induced threat to self”
§  People feel that other’s Instagram pictures are a threat to self because they feel they are not skinny or pretty enough like the person in the picture they are seeing, and they seek that affirmation through their followers
o   Magazines
§  One girl’s therapist told her not to look at magazines ever again because of the negative role that they play. They tell people we need to look a certain way based on who is on the cover
§  People use airbrushes to get rid of the imperfections on a person’s body showing them as perfect without even a freckle on their entire body. They edit them to seem more perfect
·      “It is rare to see imperfect women with disproportionate curves, unwarranted flaws, or even excessive freckles”
§  There are also always ads in the media telling you how to lose weight, get abs fast, and so much more. They are all promoting getting skinnier and losing the weight never anything about good exercise for being fit and happy, it’s all about fat loss.
o   Advertisements
§  People use skinny people to sell their products. They take the fact that women’s self-esteem is low and use the products to try to tell them that if they buy their product, they will look like the small thin girl who is selling them.
Eating Disorders
·      The amount of people that gain eating disorders trying to be perfect is way more than it should be. Girls are beginning to lose weight in order to achieve the standard that the media and people tell them they should be. The author in the one article talks about how she counted calories and starved herself just so she could be thin to the point where you could see her bones. It is unhealthy for teen girls to think that this is an okay way to go about weight loss.
o   “According to research statistics, 1 out of every 100 American adolescents are starving themselves, sometimes to death, and 4 out of 100 binge and purge or use laxatives to help maintain their ‘normal’ weight”
Difference between men and women in body dissatisfaction
·      Men
o   Men face body dissatisfaction as well. They are more likely to face it based off of family and peer influence rather than media. They are unlike women in the fact that most college men would like to weigh more, while most college women would like to weight less.
§  “Body image is important to both men and women but research shows that women are more likely to be seen as physical and sexual objects whose social value can be inferred from bodily appearance” 
·      Men are less faced with the fact that they have to be perfect to others they feel it more to themselves
·      Women
o   Women face body image issues a lot more than men. Because of the media, family, peer, and audience influences they feel the need to be perfect no matter what. They go through certain lengths and experience it much more than men do. It is much more common for women to be displayed in the media as tiny than it is for men to be a certain weight. Women become exposes to this when they are in college especially while their body finished up fully maturing into an actual adult
§  “College aged women are exceptionally vulnerable to the impact that social media can have on their body image as they develop an outlook on their bodies and accept the developmental changes that occurred during puberty” 
o   Women face it much worse than men do to the extent of the influences telling them to change, and the lengths they put themselves through to change like talked about in the paragraph before.

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Article Summaries

https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/246f/ba670608533ce08b97dcf6cf32b7418c7762.pdf

This article is titled "Why Don't I Look Like Her? The impact of Social Media on Female Body Image" The purpose of this article is talking about how social media networking and the way that these networks portray females leads to body image issues and eating disorders with women, especially in college aged women. It explains how magazine articles, Instagram feeds, etc. all show images of women who are extremely skinny, have large breasts, and have perfect skin. You never see any average size women in advertisements when the average American woman is a size 14. When college aged girls see this and begin comparing themselves with these girls more and more around the same time their body changes into being more adult like. It causes extreme eating disorders that has begin to increase as social media increases. Girls begin to look at their body in ways that they could improve and point out the flaws rather than what they like about themselves because they think they should look like these women who are considered beautiful and sexy when most phots are extremely edited. Social media has given people the constant ability to critique parts of yourself because of the amount of people who are considered smaller and prettier than another person. Due to this, there has been an increase in eating disorders trying to obtain perfection.

https://journals.uic.edu/ojs/index.php/fm/article/view/6390/5620

This article is called "The relationship between Instagram Selfies and body image in young adult women" This article states that actual body size was positively related to body dissatisfaction and negatively related to the number of selfies taken. The "ideal" body image for women has changed over time in the "thickness" and has now become extremely thin as the perfect size for millennial women. This is because of social media and how they use extremely below average sized women and use airbrushing techniques to get rid of any imperfections on them. Women have always tried to live up to these perfect standards but it has gotten more personal with social media networks because of the people trying to build relationships and reputations online. That is where instagram selfies come in because they allow people to see the face but not the body and takes away the perception of body image. Someone who is  more content with their body image is more likely to post a selfie than someone who is not out of fear that they will be judged the public eye.

https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/10.1521/jscp.2009.28.2.264

This article is called "Media Comparisons and Threats to Body Image: Seeking Evidence of Self-Affirmation" because of the media women are constantly seeing the thin models that are all over magazine covers and wearing the new clothes and on TV ads. They then start to compare themselves to them because those are the people that are considered beautiful at that time. People then begin eating disorders and maintaining a negative self image after they see a post involving someone extremely thin. They call this media-induced body image disturbance.


https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00223980209604820

This article is called "Body Image Dissatisfaction: Gender Differences in Eating Attitudes, Self-Esteem, and Reasons for Exercise." This was about how when asking both men and women what they would prefer to be most men said they wanted to be heavier and almost all women said they wanted to be lighter. Girls experience more body dissatisfaction when it comes to self-esteem. When it comes to exercise however both men and women participate in exercise to try to change how they look because of low self-esteem and eating disorders.


https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10417940903026543

This article is called "Pressure to be Perfect: Influences on College Students' Body Esteem." The media portrays an image of the perfect woman to be 5'11 and 120 pounds when in reality the average woman is 5'4 and 140 pounds. High family and peer pressure are what influence men's body image. Women's body image comes from the photoshopped images with unreal body measurements in magazines because that is what they almost tell us we should look like. 88% of women think they need to lose weight where only 37% of men think they need to lose weight. Not only do media, peers, and family have an influence but so does people's need for perfection which can cause eating disorders to have the perfect body in their mind. Model comparison is a main source of women having body esteem issue because they compare themselves to models who have abnormal bodies that are extremely hard to achieve. Not only this but people use the social standards that they see online to judge others. They use the perception of what the media think that people should look like to judge whether someone is pretty enough or thin enough which causes eating disorders.


https://academic.oup.com/her/article/21/6/770/608683

This article is called "Prevention of obesity and eating disorders: a consideration of shared risk factors." All the previous articles talked about how media, people we know, and social standards lead to not only low self esteem with body but also eating disorders. This article talks about the negative effects of eating disorders. It is a very unhealthy dieting practice that is common in young kids that affects a good chunk of both men and women. With the media, there are more kids that are beginning to adopt eating disorders as well. Not eating enough can cause malnutrition in the body with serious effects. Vomiting can cause rotting of the teeth, and the list goes on. It is mostly common in those overweight to get skinny due to the images in the media and bullying. It goes on to explain the issues of dieting and dieting with obesity, more eating disorders, etc. Then it goes and talks about how the media and the advertisements are mostly for sugary and unhealthy foods which means that more people are likely to eat those foods even if they are bad for them. Then they are likely to try to exercise, not eat, or vomit that food because of the impact it has on their body while the impact of maintaining this eating disorder is much worse.





Monday, October 7, 2019

Topic

My topic I chose is "how has social media changed the body image for women?" I started off with social media marketing and found a source that talked about this instead. I found this a lot more interesting because being a girl I know how images on social media can affect the perception of our body images when seeing other girls online. The "ideal" body image has changed throughout the years and led to people trying to achieve this image of perfection. Why do people need the affirmation of being perfect? Why does it influence people so much? How does it actually affect people? Is there an increase in eating disorders because of it?

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00223980209604820
https://journals.uic.edu/ojs/index.php/fm/article/view/6390/5620
https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/10.1521/jscp.2009.28.2.264
https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/246f/ba670608533ce08b97dcf6cf32b7418c7762.pdf

Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Topics

1. The academic journals that I found was about social media in marketing.

2. The research topic is social media in marketing with questions about how it has become more prominent in businesses and the influence it has on businesses.

3.
- why the sudden increase is social media technology?
- what are the benefits of social media marketing?
- is social media beneficial?
- what is social media?
- what are the trends in marketing?

4. I think the topic in general interests me. I want to know the influence social media has on business.

5. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1877042814039202#bbib0005
this article is one that I found stating the foundations of social media marketing. This is going back to the basics of the start of social media marketing and why it is important and the influence it has.

Monday, September 23, 2019

Major Assignment










Business Professional
What Writing is Like in the Business World 



Addie Hansen
Rhetoric 1040
University of Iowa 
Date
















Writing in Business
Writing and business never really seemed to go together. For myself, I never thought that in a future in business that I would do much writing on a day to day basis. Business is all about the communication. It’s all about communicating with one another in person to create bonds, relationships, and trust with the client. It is about getting together with a team to figure out what the client is asking for and how to get it achieved in the best way possible in the amount of time and the amount of money they give to work with. Then it is about selling that idea to the clients and putting yourself as part of that deal as well. I thought it was all about just communication and no writing at all. After conducting research, I realized that I was wrong. 
I noticed that after doing research on both academic and non-academic writing in business, that the majority comes from academic writing. Academic writing is defined as writing done by a professional in that topic done for a specific audience. After reading the sources and talking to Linda Hansen, a marketing professional, I realized that almost everything done in the business world is formatted like an academic source. The company creates formal proposals to give to clients in order to give them all their information on what they are trying to achieve. I also came to that conclusion after reading from scholarly articles and books like, Every Writer Needs an Editor, Redesigning Professional Writing Courses to Meet the Communication Needs of Writers in Business and Industry, Language for Men and Affairs, and Business Writing: A Foolproof System for Getting Started. I also made this conclusion from reading articles from places such as University of Oregon, Harvard Business Review, and Instructional Solutions. 
There are many aspects of communication that do go into business. It is still about selling yourself and your product to the customers, but there is still much writing that is involved. Writing business proposals to clients and sending them emails to create a relationship with them is another large aspect of it. Business writing is unlike many types of writings for many reasons. 
Non-Academic Writing
There are many aspects that go into non-academic writing in business that is critical to closing a business deal and creating a relationship with the client. Examples of non-academic writing includes emails and letters. While these many not seem that important, they can make or break deals depending on the information and the amount of professionalism that it contains. 
Structure
There are many ways to structure non-academic writing in business. For example, writing emails to clients, writing meeting topics, and writing to the rest of the company or your team are going to be structured in different ways because of the audience they are writing to. They are writing that does not contain research or much information, but they are critical to completing projects. 
Writing emails to clients is not something that used to be done. With booming technology changes however, it is now the norm. It is no longer sending letters, phone tag to try to catch them at the right time, or in person meetings. Sending emails is a great way to communicate with clients and allow them to read and hold onto the information that needs to be given to them at that time. The structure of this email needs to contain an intro, multiple body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The reason for the email is to tell the client something. An article from the Research Guide titled, Formal Business Letter Format, it states, “As you write your letter, remember to keep it simple and to the point so that the recipient understands your intent” (under body of a business letter). Writing a professional email will make a good impression and understanding that there is respect with them. Organizing that email will allow it to make it easy for them to read and go back to if necessary, to find the information once again. If you put details of the budget in one paragraph, they can easily look at that information and understand it better than if it was combined with many more unrelated details. It is also important to structure it as short and to the point as possible to not lose the reader while trying to give them critical information.
Writing information for a meeting is not something that needs to be done professionally. Like in college lectures, the notes are almost given as a guideline that is followed during the meetings. There are shortened points that hit what the meeting will cover, but they never give out all the information that is being talked about. It is not written in a professional way because it is usually given from the boss to the people below them. They share a respect for one another, but it does not need to share the same respect and proper writing that one would have with clients. 
The same thing that is said about writing minutes can be said for writing most emails to other people in the company as well. In the business world, the people that others communicate with the most are the others that are in their group. A business is filled with many types of people that are all in charge of getting one job done. Communicating ideas by email to other people in the group is a normal structured email. However, when communicating with people above the job position, it is important to maintain the same guidelines that one would have with the client. 
Language
Language in writing refers to the words used in order to get the message across to the reader. It is what allows someone to read the information given and understand it. In business there are many aspects that go into what someone has to say. There’s always more information that can be talked about. The thing about however, is that most of that long information is talked about in person in meetings. The non-academic writing such as emails is done so that the purpose is crystal clear. An article from “Instructional Solutions” teaches how to write professional business emails in the correct way in order to be effective. They say, “Each email should only cover one specific item, task, or request. Covering multiple actions in one email can cause confusion and inefficiency” (paragraph 14). In business, when communicating on an email, the purpose of that email tends to be for the client. It is important to use language that is very professional to maintain a respect with them, but it also needs to be to the point. No long and hard words are necessary to communicate the message that needs to be said. 
The same can be said for writing emails to the people in the same workspace. The language will change with fellow workers and with clients. Clients are the ones that make or break a business deal. It is important to write in a respectful and appropriate tone when speaking to them. It is also important to write like that when speaking to someone in a position above you. If speaking to someone in your team, it is acceptable to use a more relaxed tone while remaining professional. 
Every part of language in business is about being to the point. There is no need in non-academic writing for there to be many details and extra words thrown in to make it longer. With the economy and advertisements always changing, the jobs need to be done quickly and efficiently; making sure everything is to the point cut and clean. When writing notes for meetings, the language will be short and concise with little words on them. They should summarize the information, but never go on in detail. The less unnecessary information in non-academic business writing the better. It is all about “cutting the fat” out. University of Oregon wrote an article about that. Non-academic writing in business is about stating the purpose and getting the point across in an effective and professional way. They state, “Therefore, writing within non-academic, business contexts can be best described as ‘transactional’ or as ‘writing to do.’” This means writing for a purpose. The language written needs to have a clear purpose. There cannot be anything that will distract from the message. It needs to be as clear and easy to read as possible. 
Academic Writing
Academic writing is the main type of writing that is used in business. It consists of the many aspects of business that all go into one. It is much different however from the types of write ups that are used in technical writing. In a book called College Composition and Communication, the authors compare three types of writing by saying what goes into the write ups in academic writing and how they are different and similar. Talking about how they are different it states, “Types of reports that are covered are exemplified by model reports about personnel, sales, or marketing topics, never about the economic analysis of engineering projects” (420).  Items like model reports and personnel, sales, and marketing topics are all things that go into academic writing in business. These are some of them items that are added into a proposal to give to clients during a presentation.   
Since most of the information given out in presentations, usually there is some type of write up that is given out and used to follow along with the information given. Linda Hansen talked about this in her interview. She describes what writing in her field of business (marketing) was like. Talking about how the only writing used on a day to day basis was writing emails to clients and writing the proposals to give to them. She says, “If they wanted to increase awareness it would be a campaign, we would create on how to do that. As a team we would brainstorm all our ideas with the time and budget given and then get to writing what we came up with.” The academic writing is done through campaigns created for the client and with a team. The team allows each of the types of people to come in with their ideas to make it a fluid and complete process. 
Structure
Business writing is not the writing that most people are used to right out of college. The purpose and effectiveness or the writing needs to change in order to be effective. That is something that the Harvard Business Review talks about. That when writing in high school and even college, the structure of writing is often compared to as a hamburger. That the bun is the introduction then the meat and then more analysis of what the middle part said. This allows lots of words and explanation to what the writer is talking about. In business, that is not needed. It needs to be structed based on what you want the reader to hear making sure it is straight to the point. The Harvard Business Review explains, “Make your point right up front. Many people find that the writing style and structure they developed in school doesn’t work as well in the business world. ‘One of the greatest diseases of business writing is postponing the message to the middle part of the reading,’ says Garner,” (paragraph 4). The point of writing a campaign is to tell the client exactly what you are going to do to solve the problem they came with. That is what should be said at the beginning. It should start with the objective of what was thought of to be the solution and then later break it down to the budget, advertisements, and much more. 
The structure of each campaign is the same. That is why in many companies, they use a template. In places like Linda Hansen’s workplace, someone would create a template for the campaign and then the team would fill it out differently for each company that came in. Linda explains, “Because we spend a lot of time dealing with different accounts there was a job in my company for someone to make templates. Everyone used the same template of the proposal to give to the client, but the information would change between them.” In order to make sure the structure of the proposal for each account was correct and effective, there was someone that drew the blueprint for the information. The structure was taken care of for Linda Hansen, it was the language that she had to fill in.  
Language
The language one uses in academic writing in business is what can make or break a deal. It is important that the word choice and the way it comes across is used in a professional and well written way. The language used to write in isn’t something that is taught in school, as the book, Language for Men of Affairs: Vol 1, Talking Business/Business Writing, explains. This book reviews other books that talk about how to write in business and what that is like. They state, “It is rather difficult to classify the books in a phrase, but it is fairly safe to say that they combine a fascinating study of the philosophy and psychology of the English language as applied to business proposals with a well arranged guide to the best usage and style in business,” (236). After reviewing a book written about writing in business, they summarize the types of writing that the book states go into business. Unlike writing in engineering or science, there isn’t just one thing going into this type of writing. It needs to be written correctly in a clean format, it needs to contain the business information that is used to solve the client’s problem, and it needs to be able to get into the readers head and create a bond with them. It is the difference between completing the sale or not. 
Academic writing in business is professional. It is written to the client, has proper grammar and punctuational, is filled with information, but it is also conversational. Business is all about conversations with someone. How well you connect and converse with someone is how ideas are shared and given to the client. When writing, it is important to use words that don’t scare the reader away. According to a book called, Business Writing; A Foolproof System for Getting Started, using more simple words is a key factor in academic writing. They share, “People like to read things they can comprehend quickly and easily. To help readers understand what you’re saying, use plain language” (page 89). Business proposals are not anything like essays. There should be no complex and hard to understand language used. The client should be able to read the proposal and understand exactly what is trying to be said, and that is done with conversational language. Using anything other than this will distract the reader from the main point of the proposal. 
While academic writing in business may not seem academic like at all, it is still going to professionals. Academic writing in business, like stated before, is about getting the message across clearly with as much plain writing as possible. Just because it doesn’t need to be complex does not mean that it does not need to be professional. It should still be structured, written properly, and well. The way that is recommended to make sure this happens is to have someone edit the writing. That is what the book, Technical Communication, talks about. When writing in business, it is not typically one person in charge of the entire thing. Like Linda Hansen says, “there are many people working together at once to finish the project.” There are many people that complete the writing together, and it is important they look over each other's work. They book says, 
“Every word or sentence is not subject to evaluation; rather a team of employees, ‘in this together,’ tries to get a job done in the most effective way. Managers obviously must be concerned about the final product, since the outgoing document reflects the organization as a business. As a result, the organization must find potential weakness early, before a document leaves the organization” (339). 
It is important that every business proposal and write up is checked over by everyone in the team. It needs to be edited and checked for mistakes since it is going to be given to clients. While the language isn’t the most formal, it does not mean there is room for mistakes. There is still a deal on the line every single time. 
Conclusion
After reading all these sources, business writing is unlike any other type of writing in both academic and non-academic. It must be professional while still being conversational, detailed but concise and to the point, and so much more. There are so many details and parts of business that go into coming up with these writing ideas. Writing emails are crucial to maintain a relationship with the clients and asking questions, and the proposals are what can turn a potential client into a real one. I learned that business is still about a lot of communication and presentations, but it is the details in the writing throughout that play a large role as well. 









References 
Beck, C. (1995). Every Writer Needs an Editor: A Paradigm for Writing in Business, Industry, and Education. Technical Communication,42(2), 335-339. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org.proxy.lib.uiowa.edu/stable/43087909
Cullen, M. (2019). How to Write a Business Email (Updated for 2019). Instructionalsolutions.com. Retrieved 22 September, from https://www.instructionalsolutions.com/blog/business-email
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ACADEMIC AND BUSINESS WRITING. (2019). Pages.uoregon.edu. Retrieved 21 September 2019, from https://pages.uoregon.edu/ddusseau/101/199/199differences.htm
Formal Business Letter Format: Non-academic writing- A Research Guide. (2017). A Research Guide for Students. Retrieved 21 September 2019, from https://www.aresearchguide.com/formal-business-letter-format.html
How to Improve Your Business Writing. (2014). Harvard Business Review. Retrieved 20 September 2019, from https://hbr.org/2014/11/how-to-improve-your-business-writing
Off Campus Access- The University of Iowa Libraries. (2019). Search.proquest.com. Retrieved 22 September 2019, from https://search.proquest.com/docview/198255015/fulltextPDF/8B28056A22F94063PQ/1?accountid=14663
Off Campus Access- The University of Iowa Libraries. (2019). Search.proquest.com. Retrieved 22 September 2019, from https://search.proquest.com/docview/198255015/fulltextPDF/8B28056A22F94063PQ/1?accountid=14663
Tebeaux, E. (1985). Redesigning Professional Writing Courses to Meet the Communication Needs of Writers in Business and Industry. College Composition and Communication,36(4), 419-428. doi:10.2307/357861




Reflection

Question 1: In this class I have learned many things. As a writer, I was someone that was always hesitant about what I was going to say. I...